Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Not going batty

Dear Red Sox:
Poor Tim Wakefield. Every time he pitches, you all look like this at the plate:

And last night was the same story. 13 left on base! Manny's bat seemed to be the only one willing to cross the picket line - he had a three-run homer. But the rest of you guys looked pitiful! What did Timmy do - run over your dogs? I hope he goes nuts and uses a baseball bat on YOU! Let's get it together.

You've got the chance to at least win the series over the NYY tonight. Okay, so maybe Matty Clement has been spotty - so now's the time to pull your weight. And they've got Randy "On the Verge of Collapse" Johnson on the mound - you've got to hit him early and often.


Thank you for your attention.


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